For the Attendants

It is a huge honor to be asked to be an attendant no matter what the “title” may be.  The honor is that the bride and groom thought of you specifically to share in their special day.  You must be an extremely important person in their lives!  If you live far away from the couple, that’s even better because that means that distance has not played a factor in your relationship.

I’m sure you’re asking yourself, “Now what do I do?”  This page is for those of you that have never been in a wedding before or if you have a different role.  So here is a quick breakdown of responsibilities:

For the Ladies

Maid/Matron of Honor
• The go-to person for the bride; keep her calm and on schedule
• Help with and attend any pre-wedding parties: bridal shower, bachelorette party, 
   luncheons, etc.
• Help address invitations, if a calligrapher is not used
• Record any gifts received
• Pass out flowers to all members of bridal party, including parents and grandparents
• Help the bride and bridesmaids get dressed before ceremony
• Hold the groom’s ring (if no ring bearer) and bride’s bouquet during the ceremony
• Arrange the bride’s train before, during, and after the ceremony
• Witness the signing of marriage certificate and exchange of vows
• Help bride change into her going-away outfit and collect her attire for safekeeping
• Return bride’s slip if rented

Bridesmaids
• Help with and attend any pre-wedding parties: bridal shower, bachelorette party,
   luncheons, etc.
• Help address invitations, if a calligrapher is not used
• Help bride and maid/matron of honor when needed: run errands, make wedding favors
   and/or centerpieces, etc.
• Add to the fun of the reception by encouraging single women to participate in the
   bouquet toss and mingle by introducing guests to each other

Flower Girl
• Attend rehearsal to practice walking down the aisle and standing in position
• Carry a basket full of loose flower petals to cast on the aisle for the bride’s entrance
   during processional
• Walk with ring bearer after the bride and groom during the recessional

For the Gentlemen

Best Man
• The go-to person for the groom; keep him calm and on schedule
• Help with and attend any pre-wedding celebrations: bachelor party, outings, etc.
• Organize and supervise ushers
• Sees to it that all vendors receive final payments the day of the wedding (if not done
   the day before)
• Holds bride’s ring (if no ring bearer) during the ceremony
• Drive the newlyweds to reception site, if a limo and driver where not hired
• Witness signing of marriage certificate and exchange of vows
• Be the first to toast the newlyweds at reception before dinner
• Return all rented attire: tuxes, shoes, cumberbunds, cuff links, etc.

Groomsmen/Ushers
• Help with and attend any pre-wedding celebrations: bachelor party, outings, etc.
• Pass out ceremony programs and/or maps to the reception site as guests arrive
• Seat guests for ceremony
• Seat groom’s mother, then bride’s mother right before processional begins
• Roll out aisle runner, if one is being used, after mothers are seated
• Release guests by rows after ceremony; make sure no items were left behind in seats
• Drive bridesmaids to reception site, if a limo and driver have not been hired or other
   arrangements have not been made
• Add to the fun of the reception by encouraging single men to participate in the garter
   toss and mingle by introducing guests to each other

Ring Bearer
• Attends rehearsal to practice walking down the aisle and standing in position
• Carry a pillow with rings attached (if younger than 7, carries artificial rings) during
   processional
• Walks with flower girl after the bride and groom during the recessional

A Note for Everybody

Your financial responsibilities include your own attire, "except any flowers", and travel expenses.  Some brides and grooms may offer to pay for these items, though.  The members of the younger wedding party members will probably want to sit with their parents/grandparents at the ceremony and the reception.

Now this is just a basic guideline.  Duties may be added to or subtracted from depending on certain factors: the number of attendants; the religion of the ceremony; if a calligrapher is used; if there are other transportation arrangements; and if the bride and groom hire a wedding planner and what his/her duties include.

We hope this has answered some questions that you may have.  If you have any additional questions or concerns, please feel free to call or email us.  We would be happy to talk to you.